Confessions of a Fitness Instructor

Every day, people make the assumption that I do everything right.  They assume that I eat right, that I love to exercise and that I love my body.  To a degree, they are right.  I do eat right (most of the time) and I do love to exercise (the majority of the time) but there are things that you may not know about me.  Things that, until now, I have kept secret so that I could maintain my image.  Today, however, I have decided that it would be more beneficial if I came clean...if I let out all of my secrets to let my clients know that no one is perfect.  No one is good all of the time.  There are bad days.  We all struggle.  We all fall down the hill and have to climb back up. THESE are my dirty secrets.

Dirty Secret #1 - Some times I get a chocolate chip cookie after my lunch and eat it in my car so that no one I know will see me.  I know...terrible, right?  It's not the actual cookie that is so bad.  I only eat it before my big lift days (call it superstition, but I swear, it makes me stronger).  What's bad about it, is that I don't feel alright doing it in the restaurant.  I sneak it to my car for fear of judgement.

Dirty Secret #2 - There are days when I don't want to exercise.  Some days, like everyone else, I just want to sit on the couch.  But I am lucky because I am an instructor at a great gym (the JCC) and it makes me get up to exercise whether I want to or not.  Plus, I have a great trainer who I adore.  I would never cancel or no-show, so it forces me to exercise even when I don't feel like it.  I have yet to regret my decision to exercise on any given day.  I am always so glad that I did it, even on my worst days.

Dirty Secret #3 - I LOVE Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi.  I have gotten my addiction under wraps and usually only drink it once a week, on weekends, but I do love it.  I know it is terrible for me.  I know that it can eat away at the lining of my stomach.  I know that it can give me cancer.  I know that it makes me more hungry, therefore assists in weight gain.  But despite all of that I freakin' love the stuff.

Dirty Secret #4 - I don't like all exercises.  Now, it's not what you are thinking...I do truly LOVE the burpee.  But I hate the push-up, the pull-up and RDLs.  They all suck.  It doesn't mean I don't do them.  In fact, if I hate them, it means I am probably not good at them so I am doing them more.  But...I don't have to like it.

Dirty Secret #5 - I don't trust my trainer.  Like many of you, I think my trainer is on crack when he asks me to do certain workouts.  When I am teaching Boot Camp and I ask participants to do 100 burpees, I see the look on their faces.  I hate that look.  However, I often give my trainer the same look.  I wonder what the hell he is thinking.  But you know what?  I have never failed.  He is always right and I am always so proud of myself for accomplishing the seemingly impossible.  It would suck to have a trainer who asked me to do everything that I knew I already could do.  I may not initially trust my trainer all of the time, but I always listen and do what he says and I am a better person/athlete for it.

Dirty Secret #6 - I HATE stretching and yoga.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that I want to punch yoga instructors in the face when we have to hold the downward dog position for too long.  I know many of you feel this way about Boot Camp and burpees.  I know how it feels to hate something, to suck at something, but to know that it is necessary.

So there it is.  I said it.  Now, you can stop being shocked if you see my car in a drive-thru window or if you see me being lazy.  I am not perfect.  I am far from it.  However, I am so lucky in that I have found my true passion in fitness.  I know the value of being strong. I know the value of a good diet.  I may not always live what I preach, but I am compassionate for those that struggle because I struggle every day.

It is not the struggle that define me.  It is not the cookie or the Diet Coke or the day when I skip out on stretching.  What defines me are the days and moments when I do the RIGHT thing...when I pass on the coke or spend a little extra time stretching...the moments when I squat or deadlift a weight that I thought was impossible...or, when I am compassionate and understanding with those who struggle as well.   Those are the moments that define me. 

I am the girl who eats a cookie.  I am the girl who drinks Diet Coke.  But I am also the girl who can squat 205 pounds.  I am the girl who screams "whoo hoo!" during an aerobics class, even on a bad day.  I am whatever I choose to be each day, each moment.  I am me, dirty secrets and all!