I love every inch of it!

"Susan, thank you so much for all that you have done. I have lost all of this weight and gotten so toned. I finally have the body that I have always dreamed of and I love every inch of it!"

Someone said this to me the other day. Okay, that is a total lie. No one has ever said this to me and I am guessing that they never will.

What I really hear is this, "I know that I have hit my goal weight, but I still feel like I should lose 5 or 10 more pounds." Or, "I am fine with my weight, but I have these big thighs." Or, "If I could just get rid of the pooch..."

Every time I hear this, I cringe. Not because I don't relate...not because I don't feel the same way at times. I cringe because I rarely hear women pat themselves on the back for what they HAVE done. I rarely hear women find a time in their lives when they ARE satisfied with who they are.

One of my favorite bloggers, DRYWALL said it best, "We know. You’re not skinny enough. Or you’re too tall. Or short. Your butt sags. Your complexion is off. You have a belly. Your boobs aren’t big enough. Whatev. We don’t seriously care....What you don’t realize is that guys could give a f&!@ about any of it. We don’t let outside influences distort our view of hotness. We judge it the old fashioned way: we get wood. That’s it. Caveman shit."

It's a little crass, I know, but it is true. I don't think men are nearly as hard on us as we are on ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with having goals. We should all strive to better. But aiming to look like someone else or even aiming to look like our 18-year-old selves is a waste of time and energy. If I could give every woman a gift, it would be for them to shoot for and appreciate their physical accomplishments even if the pooch won't go away.

In other words, strive to do x-number of pull-ups. Strive to run 3 miles in a row. Strive to do a plank with 100 pounds on your back. And for god's sake, quit worrying about that tiny bit of fat that no one else even sees anyway!

If we only exercise to get skinny, we may never be happy. But if we exercise to hit milestones, to push ourselves and find what we are truly capable of, it is a much better experience.

This morning, I was telling a group of clients that I used to put pictures of Victoria's Secret supermodels up on my computer to motivate myself. It was my attempt to keep myself from eating too many calories. Instead, I just saw those supermodels every day and was reminded of what I would never be...a 5'11, 100 pounds woman.

Today, I try to ignore (and sometimes even appreciate) the way that I look. I focus on the numbers in the gym, the accomplishments at competition and the way that I feel on a daily basis. This is me. I am doing the best that I can with what I have. As Kurt Cobain put it, "Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."

I LOVE those beer goggles!

Those of you that drink, or used to drink, may know the term “beer goggles.” For those of you not familiar with this term, urbandictionary.com describes beer goggles as “imaginary optical aids through which ugly women begin to appear attractive after you have had too much beer.”

I always wind up wearing beer goggles on my Saturday nights out. What sets me apart is that my beer goggles don’t make me think that other people are more attractive, they make me think that I look more attractive.

Before I go out at night, I often struggle with my outfit or my make-up. I work to look good but usually end up feeling sub-par. I wind up shrugging my shoulders and going out to have a good time anyway. However, after one beer and during my first trip to the bathroom, I think to myself, “I actually look pretty good tonight. You go!” I walk out of the bathroom with my shoulders back and my head held high.

On my second trip to the bathroom and at least one more beer, I stop to admire how DAMN good I look. If I wasn’t married, I could really knock the guys dead.

On my third trip to the bathroom and three beers in, I don’t even stop to look in the mirror. What’s the point? I look good, I know it. No need to primp.

So what if my hair has gone wild and my mascara is smudged. If I think I look like Heather Locklear, who cares what other people think?

This phenomenon has been affecting me for most of my adult life. It may be the reason that I like to drink a few beers on Saturday. But more recently, I am trying to develop beer goggles for the times when I don’t drink. Shouldn’t we all feel so confident about ourselves that we don’t need to look in the mirror? My practice every day is to shut off that inner voice that is critical of my skin or my weight. I work to appreciate the parts of me that still work and still look good.

On Sunday mornings, when I wake up, sadly my beer goggles are gone. The early signs of dark circles are showing under my eyes and my skin looks ashen. There are no beer goggles for 7 a.m. and I am back to living with myself, the way that I am today. But even on those days, I will attempt to love what I see, accept all of it and appreciate that I am alive, happy and healthy (despite the slight headache.)