They don't measure up.

I am sitting here in the land of fitness. San Diego, California. All around me are people running, biking, hiking and lifting. As I sit on the beach, at least two dozen people have run past me with fit, lean bodies while several dozen people have biked on the road behind me. I've been to stores, bars and even bakeries and there is not an overweight person to be found. I have been to breakfast at a local eatery called, "Pipes" where they serve the largest portions of eggs, potatoes and pancakes and even though many people are eating muffins, there is not a muffin-top to be found.

People here are lean. They are fit. So, they must be happier, right? Back in Kentucky, I see overweight and out of shape people all of the time. I see people who hate their bodies and are embarrassed of what they have become; and at first glance, I must assume that does not exist in sunny California. Right? Wrong.

After years of working with women on their weight and self-esteem issues, I have come to pick up on the small cues that give off the inner feelings of a female. The way a woman will size up another woman in a bar or a gym...the way they either smile or smirk at another woman... it is telling of their level of self-esteem.

With so many hot bodies in California, the woman here must love their bodies and therefore, be super friendly to each other. They must walk around exuding confidence. Not so. While working out in the gym, I saw some pretty fit women that looked like they wanted to take me down. I am not saying they were jealous (these women looked unbelievable) but I certainly was intruding on their territory. As we walked in a bar last night, I was a few feet behind my sister and I watched women eye her up and at times, whisper comments about her. It astounded me! Why would women in California, with their hot bodies and puffed up, perfect lips, feel insecure?

The answer: Because in their own minds, they don't measure up.

Instead of being happy with who we are, we tell ourselves that we are not quite enough, physically. Our butt could be smaller or rounder. Our tummy could be flatter or more toned. Our inner thighs could be leaner. 190 pounds or 109 pounds, self acceptance and self love are hard to find. We all have good days, skinny days. We have days when the jeans fit right and we feel better about ourselves, but we also have bad days…days when our jeans barely zip or we feel bloated and ugly.

So, is the answer more cardio? More toning work? Should we eat less? OR, should we all be practicing the art of self love. Should we focus on our mind as much as our body? Maybe we should focus on celebrating each other. Maybe we should be praising each other for our good genes or our success in the gym or kitchen. Maybe we should be praising ourselves. Because Kentucky or California; New Jersey or New Mexico...it doesn't matter how hard we work, if we don't love who we are, we will never be happy.